Two minute warning: week 5

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October 12, 2017 by coachcarter717

Week 5 in The Nosebleeds Fantasy Football League has proved to be the craziest so far. (Adam Burt/The Nosebleeds)

Written by Carter Cotrupi

Week 5 in the NFFL was a nail-biting success or a terrible disgrace depending on which GM you ask. Either way, there is no denying how entertaining this week was when it comes to point differentials.

The biggest margin of victory was just 13.86 points in Brian’s (Brian’s Team) win over Shane (Free Kaepernick). Three out of the seven matchups in Week 5 were decided by less than a point and included a TIE between Wetty Squad and Mixon a Water Joe. (Seriously, who ties in fantasy football?) All this and more made for an eventful week of NFFL action.

Power Rankings:

  1. Jimmy is My Homie G. (–)
  2. my f**king sick team (+1)
  3. Is Joe Flacco Elite? (-1)
  4. Squish (+1)
  5. Wetty Squad (-1)
  6. Mixon a Water Joe (+2)
  7. Deez Nuts (-1)

A true victim of the first bye week, four of Marlon’s usual starters had to ride the bench and watch his team lose by less than a point. The only way his team could have got the W with his Week 5 lineup was if he replaced Tyrell Williams (2.70 points) with Cooper Kupp (5.90) at the FLEX position. The decision to not stream a kicker while Matt Bryant was on a bye was a bold one.

  1. Sunday Funday (-1)
  2. YOU DON’T DO THAT (+3)
  3. Brian’s Team (+3)
  4. Big Country (-1)

Week 5 was not kind to Big Country, who collapsed for the lowest point total this week and his lowest score of the season. Ryan should be a Vikings fan from now on considering Jerick McKinnon and Kyle Rudolph combined for 37.10 points, a little over half his score this week. The favorable matchups were there, but the players did not step up.

  1. Free Kaepernick (-3)
  2. Wreck League (-2)
  3. Get in the bathroom (–)

Breakout Stars

Charcandrick West (14.30 points)- The introduction of bye weeks there are bound to be some new faces stepping up to the plate. West is out here trying to prove that you can trust a backup RB in fantasy football. Coach Andy Reid is known for his adaptability in the offensive playbook. West reminded everybody that he was a big contributor when Jamaal Charles stepped out of the picture. With Spencer Ware out for the season, the competition continues to heat up for starting reps against the rookie Hunt.

Will Fuller V (19.20 points)- With four TDs in his first two games back from breaking his collarbone in training camp, Fuller is looking sharp. In his rookie season last year, he struggled with being an inconsistent pass catcher. His solid performance since returning this season have people wondering if his numbers just suffered from a Deshaun Watson-less offense.

Jerick McKinnon (23.60 points)- In Week 4, McKinnon had two carries for 0 yards and one fumble. In Week 5, McKinnon had 16 carries for 95 yards and a TD and chalked up another 51 yards receiving. Coach Mike Zimmer made the right call giving McKinnon the starting role over Latavius Murray in a run-heavy game-script. The worry with Dalvin Cook’s season-ending injury was that the Vikings would find themselves in the same slump that occurred last year when Adrian Peterson stepped out of the picture. McKinnon has the potential to break off big chunks of yardage and Minnesota’s O-line is in much better shape to help their running backs this time around.


Ben Roethlisberger (7.58)- After throwing five interceptions in the Steelers’ 30-9 loss to the Jaguars, Big Ben was quoted saying “Maybe I don’t have it anymore”. It is not uncommon for franchise QBs to admit flaws in their gameplay, but those words take on a whole new meaning when you are 35 years old with 13 seasons in the NFL under your belt. The sympathy would soon wear off however once Roethlisberger started throwing verbal punches back at the media for questioning the state of the 3-2 Steelers team. The team’s focus this week has been on what to do about the lackluster receiving core, but should Coach Mike Tomlin think about the future of the team away from the guy who has thrown more picks (7) than touchdowns (6) this season?

DeShone Kizer (3.38)- There are only so many chances a head coach can give a rookie QB when you have 11 turnovers and 5 TDs through five games. Coach Hue Jackson did not shy away from benching Kizer last Sunday after he threw another interception against the New York Jets. All signs point to Kevin Hogan starting on the road against the Texans in Week 6. Browns fans were hoping for Kizer to be the spark that the young offense needed, but he still has a lot to learn and Cleveland is not known for developing quarterbacks.

Key Injuries

Odell Beckham Jr. (and the entire Giants WR corps)- The now 0-5 New York Giants have not caught any breaks so far in 2017. One by one, Eli’s top-four receivers were all injured in their game against the LA Chargers. OBJ, Dwayne Harris and now Brandon Marshall are all expected to miss the rest of the season after their surgeries this week. Beckham Jr. fractured his ankle, Harris suffered a broken foot, and it was just announced that Marshall will join them on injured reserve even after Coach McAdoo said it was just a “sprained” ankle. Sophomore WR Sterling Shepard also injured his ankle and is considered “day to day”. OBJ and Marshall’s injuries are the most fantasy-relevant, but it is hard to imagine how the head coach Ben McAdoo and the Giants offense will move forward.

Lane Johnson (Eagles)- The departure of Lane Johnson last season dealt a huge blow to the Eagles’ offensive line, tasked with protecting the rookie Carson Wentz. In his sophomore season, Wentz has been able to stand his ground, taking some of the pressure off the line to cover for him. The Eagles will be missing Johnson for at least a week due to their Thursday night game in Week 6. Johnson is in concussion protocol which, as I covered earlier with Sammy Watkins, is a timetable that relies solely on the discretion of an independent neurologist.

J.J. Watt (Texans)- This one hurts to write about. The man who just recently raised over $37mil for Houston Flood Relief in the wake of Hurricane Harvey now finds his season cut short for the second year in a row due to a tibial plateau fracture. Basically, it is worse than an ACL tear because the bone itself is broken, not just a ligament.

After a back injury cut his season short last year, Watt himself was questioning the longevity of his career in the NFL. The past three years, Watt has had a laundry list of injuries, including a broken hand, two torn abs, a twice-herniated disc, and a staph infection that nearly cost him his leg were it not for the quick diagnosis by his trainer. Watt will be one of the top stories throughout the 2018 offseason.

Matchup of the Week: Wetty Squad (109.04- 109.04) Mixon a Water Joe

“There’s no tying in [fantasy] football!”

Even with points measured to the hundredths, both Dan and Brock’s starting lineups managed to total the exact same score. This rare occurrence has suddenly made the playing field more interesting as we have yet to cross the halfway mark in this fantasy football season. The idea that one of these teams could hold the advantage over another GM with the same number of wins could rewrite the playoff picture entirely.

Just like when a tie happens in an NFL game, the focus is less on the great performances of the two contributing teams and more on the fact that “WOW, THEY TIED”. Good job guys, but don’t do it again.

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