Two minute warning: week 7

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October 26, 2017 by coachcarter717

Both Brian’s Team and my f**king sick team are on the rise with their efforts in the NFFL this past week. (Adam Burt/The Nosebleeds)

Written by Carter Cotrupi

Week 7 saw a couple surprise upsets happen, including Get in the bathroom’s (2-5) triumphant victory over the rising Deez Nuts (3-4). If anything, this week showed how clustered the playoff picture really is with teams crunching to the middle of the pack. Seven out of our 14 teams eclipsed the 100-point marker this week and my f**king sick team decimated the previous season-high score with his 148.34 point outing.

Power Rankings

  1. Jimmy is My Homie G. (–)
  2. my f**king sick team (+2)

What do Amari Cooper and John’s team have in common? They both tore through their matchups after I attempted to persecute them last week. Ezekiel Elliot finally reverted back to his 2016 form for a league-leading 40.40 points.

  1. Squish (–)

Despite his loss this week, Squish continues to one of the most consistent lineups in the NFFL. As was the case this week, his three losses have all come from upsets where the opponent had their highest point total of the season.

  1. Is Joe Flacco Elite? (-2)
  2. Wetty Squad (+1)
  3. Deez Nuts (-1)
  4. Big Country (+2)
  5. Brian’s Team (+3)

Fun fact: Brian’s Team could have stolen the highest point total from my f**king sick team if he had played Kenny Stills (23.50 points) over Davante Adams (2.20 points) to add to his impressive 127.66-point week.

  1. Mixon a Water Joe (-2)
  2. Sunday Funday (-2)
  3. Wreck League (+1)
  4. YOU DON’T DO THAT (+1)
  5. Get in the bathroom (+1)
  6. Free Kaepernick (-4)

Breakout Stars

Ezekiel Elliot (40.40 points)- In his sophomore season, Zeke has played a weird game of back-and-forth with the league around his six-game suspension that was announced shortly before Week 1. However, due to the appeal process and various hearings, Zeke has started all seven games this season and is expected to play against Washington this Sunday. His trouncing of the 49ers in Week 7 was the first time that we saw shades of his spectacular 2016 season come back. Everyone has been waiting for a bounce-back game from Zeke and perhaps that’s all he needed to steamroll through the rest of the season.

JuJu Smith-Schuster (10.90 points)- The guy whose name should be featured in the next Key & Peele East/West Bowl skit has been climbing into the hearts of NFL fans everywhere with his creative touchdown celebrations. Solidified as the primary slot receiver in a powerful Steelers offense, Smith-Schuster looks to move into the No. 2 receiver spot due to the team’s complications with WR Martavis Bryant. Earlier last week, it was revealed that Bryant openly asked to be traded. However, Coach Mike Tomlin said this week that there are no plans to trade him despite the news that Bryant will be benched this Sunday against the Detroit Lions. The sum of all this news and information leads to the conclusion that Smith-Schuster is the rising rookie and is currently the safer bet for fantasy production the rest of the season.


Drew Stanton (1.88 points)- To be fair, this entry should really say “Coach Andy Reid” but since he is not a fantasy player, the title of bust goes to Stanton. The Cardinals have a bye in week 8 which is good because it saves them another week of getting completely embarrassed with Stanton under center. The most baffling part of Coach Reid’s decision to continue with Stanton while Blaine Gabbert continues to sit on the bench. Yes, when thinking of the best backup QBs in recent memory, Gabbert does not immediately come to mind but his 40 career starts in the NFL against Stanton’s 13 starts should tip the scales in his favor (keyword “should”).

Trevor Siemian (6.68 points)- After Paxton Lynch went down with a sprained shoulder before Week 1, Siemian has been the only option to lead the sluggish Broncos offense. Although he is not the only perpetrator to the offense’s lack of success (the O-line has been awful), there is a point to be made when the team resigns former “traitor” and career-long dumpster fire Brock Osweiler as your backup. Now, there are no signs towards Osweiler leading the huddle anytime soon. It was reported earlier this week that Lynch participated in team practice for the first time since his preseason injury. Until Lynch is cleared to play, Siemian will carry on knowing that each three-and-out puts more strain on the struggling Broncos D/ST.

Key Injuries

Carson Palmer (Cardinals)- During the Cardinals’ blowout loss (33-0) to the Rams on Sunday, Palmer broke his arm on a big hit by Rams DT Aaron Donald. The optimistic timeline has Palmer missing just eight weeks while the more realistic expectation is that he will miss the rest of the season. Coach Arians says he has faith in Drew Stanton as a formidable replacement QB, but also noted that the situation was “unfair to Drew because Drew hasn’t had any practice”. At 37, Palmer has already shown signs of a deteriorating NFL veteran. The big question should be centered around why Coach Arians did not give Stanton more practice time with the aging Palmer entering his 15th season. Or better yet, why has Arians not targeted a potential replacement for Palmer the past couple seasons? As great a coach as Bruce Arians is, his decisions around the quarterback is coming back to haunt him and possibly sink the rest of the Cardinals’ 2017 season.

Joe Thomas (Browns)- During what he would call a routine block in Cleveland’s 12-9 loss to Tennessee, Thomas could feel his tendon detaching from his elbow in his left arm. The MRI scan on Monday revealed that he has a torn triceps in his left arm. Say what you want about the Browns as a team but there is no denying that Joe Thomas will go down as one of the best tackles in the NFL.

Since being drafted third overall in 2007, Thomas had played in 10,363 consecutive snaps with the Browns before his injury on Sunday. In the 2016 season, he joined the likes of Barry Sanders and Lawrence Taylor as one of only five players in NFL history to make the Pro Bowl in each of his first 10 seasons in the league. Everyone in Cleveland knows what a once-in-a-generation talent he is, including Head Coach Hue Jackson who said, “He is Cleveland Browns football”. At 32, Thomas hinted at possible plans to retire but we will have to wait until the offseason to hear what his future holds in the NFL.

Matchup of the Week: Squish (113.72 vs. 127.66) Brian’s Team

Where did Brian’s Team come from? After coming into Week 7 at 2-4, Brian’s lineup earned a 3-4 record and the upset of the week.

Amari Cooper walked on the field Sunday after reading Week 6’s Two Minute Warning and said, “I am going to make Carter eat crow” and he did so with his 11/210/2 stat-line and 38.50 fantasy points. Better yet, the Raiders played on Thursday night which meant that Brian spent the rest of the weekend hoping no one on Squish’s lineup would ball out like Cooper did.

We’re at that point in the season where each matchup separates the field further and further. Brian’s Team is making a strong push to break into the top half of the NFFL standings and Squish will look to rebound against Get in the bathroom in Week 8.

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