Two minute warning: week 8

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November 1, 2017 by coachcarter717

(Courtesy of Adam Burt/The Nosebleeds)

Written by Carter Cotrupi

After seven weeks of pure fantasy football bliss, dark clouds have surrounded the NFFL. Yes folks, my team (Jimmy is My Homie G.) lost 104.72- 131.76 to Wreck League (Jesse’s team). Below, you will find my official statement on the subject:

“We’re onto John’s team”

In all seriousness though, JuJu Smith-Schuster had a game to remember. That plus Dallas’ shutdown of Kirk Cousins’ offense would spell the end of my undefeated season. The grass is always greener as they say. At least Jesse did me a favor and spared me of the possible 2007 New England Patriots prophecy. Mix in the recent hot-streak of Adam’s team and Week 8 was a week of shakeups in the NFFL standings.

Power Rankings

  1. Jimmy is My Homie G. (–)
  2. Is Joe Flacco Elite? (+2)
  3. my f**king sick team (-1)
  4. Squish (-1)
  5. Deez Nuts (+1)

The week after his Atlanta-born roster was thrashed by New England (53.22 fantasy points), Deez Nuts nearly tripled his point production (134.26 points). He may be top 5 in the power rankings, but the NFFL standings have him at 6th, just below Squish with the same 4-4 record.

  1. Wetty Squad (-1)

Tune in next week for a new episode of Trading Spaces: Marlon and Dan Edition.

  1. Wreck League (+4)

There is no over-hyping JuJu when his fantasy production (28.80 points) almost made the entire difference between Wreck League’s season-high 131.76 points and his 2nd-highest total of 97.52 points in Week 4. Forget just being a game-breaker, Jesse might have found his ticket back into the playoff picture.

  1. Sunday Funday (+2)
  2. YOU DON’T DO THAT (+3)
  3. Get in the bathroom (+3)

“Do you like apples?”

  1. Big Country (-4)
  2. Brian’s Team (-4)
  3. Mixon a Water Joe (-4)
  4. Free Kaepernick (–)

Breakout Stars

Carson Wentz (18.14 points)- I really should have written about Wentz during his 32.02 fantasy point performance last week, but I’m making up for it now. Wentz was the guy a lot of experts picked to have a breakout year in his 2nd season with the Eagles. So far, he has stepped into the role of team leader and his skill on the field has developed enough to back it up.

To get a better look at his progression in his second year, Wentz finished the 2016 season having played all 16 games and threw for 16 TDs and 14 INTs. Now, halfway through the 2017 season, he has already thrown 19 TD passes and only 5 INTs. That’s crazy. Fans are already chanting his name for league MVP and they have every right to in my opinion. The guy has almost completely wiped out the memory of Chip Kelly’s offense from Philly fans. With the addition of Jay Ajayi for what can only be described as a coupon for a small cheese pizza, Wentz is just looking better and better. Keep your eyes on him folks. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing him in the Superbowl before his time with the Eagles is up.


Martavis Bryant (N/A)- Last week I covered JuJu Smith-Schuster’s breakout projection with the Steelers and Mike Tomlin not knowing what to do about Bryant. With Bryant on the bench, JuJu flew all over the Lions and proved that he deserves the #2 WR spot in Pittsburgh’s offense. Despite his Steelers teammates’ reaffirmation that he will be a big part of the offense the rest of the season, there is no doubt that Bryant and Tomlin are treading thin ice with each other.

Matt Moore (5.04 points) and Jay Cutler (Bad)- When you throw two pick-sixes in a shutout loss (0-40), you might not be seeing the field any time soon. Speculation has Jay Cutler returning to the helm of this pathetic Miami offense if his rib injury has healed enough. Add to the mix the laughable trade of Jay Ajayi to the Eagles and it looks like Coach Adam Gase is in full tank-mode. Things are not going well in the locker room, according to insider reports. I don’t think even Dan Marino in his prime could save the Dolphins’ season at this point.

Key Injuries

Zach Miller (Bears)- It was a scary scene for everyone in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome when Bears TE Zach Miller went down with a gruesome leg injury in the end zone. On a clear touchdown catch (which would later be reversed by the all-powerful “replay center”) Miller’s left leg planted too quickly and was dislocated as he attempted to bring in the football with one hand. He was rushed out of the stadium in a hurry. Later that night, news came out that vascular surgeons were performing emergency surgery to save his leg (which was successful).

It’s obvious that he will not return this season, but the bigger news will be what the future holds for the 33-year-old NFL veteran. This type of injury could come with an early retirement. He is currently settled in at the hospital in New Orleans “indefinitely”.

Chris Hogan (Patriots)- In the last few minutes of the Patriot’s win over the Chargers, Hogan showed signs of discomfort after a big hit to his shoulder by the helmet of a Chargers defender. It was reported that his arm was in a sling after the game. The most recent update from the team is that Hogan’s shoulder injury is similar to Golden Tate’s injury earlier this season and he is expected to miss “just a few weeks”. With New England on bye in Week 9, the timing for Hogan’s return could be sped up to where he might not miss any games.

Jordan Reed (Redskins)- With each injury that the veteran TE suffers, the more likely it is that he will not return to the football field. Reed’s injury history is littered with multiple concussions and so many leg injuries to the point where it’s not hard to foresee many health problems for the 27-year-old in his future after football. Reed has already been ruled out for Week 9 and his history of dealing with hamstring injuries suggests that he will be sitting out a few more games after this.

Matchup of the Week: Is Joe Flacco Elite? (107.62 vs. 100.96) my f**king sick team

Talk about a photo finish! Matt’s team was down 77.62- 100.96 heading into Monday night’s game between Denver and Kansas City. CJ Anderson was helping Matt feel better about his loss by adding a measly 9.00 points. But it would be Harrison Butker, the Chief’s midseason replacement for the injured Cairo Santos, that would kick five field goals, including one from 50+ yards out and tack on two extra-pointers for a whopping 21.00 smackaroos.

Butker has a new name in Matt’s team and it’s spelled “C-L-U-T-C-H”.

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