Two minute warning: week 9

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November 9, 2017 by coachcarter717

(Courtesy of Adam Burt/The Nosebleeds)

Written by Carter Cotrupi

Well into our series of bye weeks across the NFL, our GMs in the NFFL scrambled to put together various rag-tag lineups to survive another week on the way to the upcoming fantasy playoffs.

Across the board, most of the matchups in Week 9 featured less scoring than usual. Only three out of our fourteen teams eclipsed the 100-point mark this week while five teams did not make it past 80 points. With only two bye weeks left in the season, the time is now for our GMs to push for a playoff run. Who is sitting pretty and who will be fighting tooth and nail in Week 10? Let’s find out.

Power Rankings

  1. Jimmy is My Homie G. (–)
  2. Is Joe Flacco Elite? (–)
  3. Squish (+1)

Just when you think he’s starting to slip, Squish slides right back into the top 3 of the power rankings with his adaptability as a GM in the back-half of the fantasy season.

  1. Deez Nuts (+1)
  2. Wreck League (+2)

Jesse finds himself cracking the top 5 in the NFFL power rankings for the first time this season. With just four weeks of fantasy football left until the NFFL playoffs, Wreck League has been setting the right tone with a 4-game win streak.

  1. my f**king sick team (-3)
  2. Wetty Squad (-1)
  3. Sunday Funday (–)
  4. YOU DON’T DO THAT (–)
  5. Get in the bathroom (–)
  6. Mixon a Water Joe (+2)

Brock’s team got the W to bring him back up to 3-5-1, but the rest of his schedule does not look so appetizing. In the next four weeks leading up to the fantasy playoffs, Mixon a Water Joe will face four teams currently in the top 6 of the NFFL standings. I’m calling it now: Brock is officially the underdog.

  1. Big Country (-1)
  2. Brian’s Team (-1)
  3. Free Kaepernick (–)

Breakout Stars

Jay Ajayi (13.70 points)- Maybe the fans in Philly don’t deserve a star like Ajayi but they have one now thanks to the incredible collapse of the Miami Dolphins’ organization. His presence was immediately felt as he posted an 8/77/1 rushing line in his first game with the Eagles offense. Having a competent QB in the young Carson Wentz will greatly help Ajayi rise back up to the elite level we saw him at in his rookie season.


Ryan Fitzpatrick (9.72 points)- If this was 2015 full beard Ryan Fitzpatrick, then we would not be having this conversation. But ever since he shaved that illustrious lumberjack mane off, he has not been the same quarterback. Yes, he still turns the ball over the usual amount of times per game, but his recent attempt at growing the beard back shows how unprepared he was to start this season. With Jameis Winston out for multiple weeks, Fitzpatrick will have to face the world with his new, less-impressive beard and continue to play with that knowledge in his head. You should have never shaved the beard, big guy.

New York Giants D/ST (-4.00 points)- Now that the entire Giants offense is injured and out for the season, it seems that the defense has finally crashed as well. Unless you’re the 2015 Denver Broncos, your elite defense can only take you so far into the regular season without offensive point production for support. The only game the Giants DEF posted a double-digit fantasy score was 22.00 points against Trevor Siemian and his tub of molasses that they call the Broncos offense. Sorry Giants fans, but Eli Manning is not the type of quarterback to make lemonade out of lemons. Instead, he will probably try to throw the ball five yards over each lemon’s head expecting them to bail him out.

Key Injuries

Deshaun Watson (Houston)- During practice last week, rookie QB Deshaun Watson suffered a torn ACL. It was a non-contact injury which was the most worrisome sign when it initially happened on the practice field. This injury comes at an unfortunate time for the 3-5 Texans who are currently 3rd in the AFC South standings. Coach Bill O’Brien and the rest of the Texans front office knew they had struck gold once the rookie Watson took over as their starting QB. His extraordinary athleticism and awareness made Watson look like a veteran playmaker on several occasions this season. Unfortunately, we will not get to see what the true conclusion of Watson’s rookie season could have been as he is officially done for this year following ACL surgery yesterday.

Jameis Winston (Tampa Bay)- Winston suffered a shoulder injury against the Arizona Cardinals back in Week 6. Early on in last week’s game against the Saints, Winston aggravated his shoulder and was ruled out for the second half of the game. Further testing showed that he did indeed sustain more damage to the same injured shoulder, but it was nothing structural. Coach Dirk Koetter announced that he would shut down Winston for the next “couple weeks”.

Matchup of the Week: Big Country (85.48 vs. 92.52) Deez Nuts

In a crucial game for keeping Marlon’s playoff hopes alive, his team stitched itself together to win a close one against Ryan’s budding team, even with the Chiefs D/ST scoring a big ol’ goose egg (0.00 points). There is a debate to be had on whether Big Country’s decision to keep Kyle Rudolph in the lineup on his bye was the deciding factor.

Now on a two-game win streak, Deez Nuts is in the middle of the 5-4 pack that also contains: my f**king sick team, Squish and Wreck League.

The air is getting cold, but the competition is just heating up. I have a feeling that it will be a photo-finish for the final playoff standings.

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