Two minute warning: week 11

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November 24, 2017 by coachcarter717

The fight for the sixth and final spot in The NFFL playoffs is likely a three-man game of musical chairs between YOU DON’T DO THAT, Wreck League, and Get in the bathroom. (Adam Burt/The Nosebleeds)

Written by Carter Cotrupi

Ladies and gentlemen, the last of the NFL bye weeks are behind us. Ahead on the horizon in just three weeks’ time is the NFFL playoffs. The standings are nearly set in stone, but there are still some opportunities for a new team to bully its way into the six-man playoff race. Because of this, every win (and loss) counts twice as much. The road to the playoffs is nearing its end. Who will make it to the first NFFL postseason?

Power Rankings

  1. Is Joe Flacco Elite? (+1)
  2. Squish (+1)
  3. Jimmy is My Homie G. (-2)

**Major Upset Alert**

  1. my f**king sick team (+2)

John’s win against Jesse has set the script for a dramatic race to claim the last playoff spot between Wreck League, YOU DON’T DO THAT, and Get in the bathroom.

  1. Deez Nuts (-1)
  2. Get in the bathroom (+1)

A four-game win streak sounds #TooSweet in Adam’s final push to make the playoffs. A lot has to go in his favor to move past his 8th place ranking.

  1. YOU DON’T DO THAT (+1)
  2. Wreck League (-3)

Jesse still holds the sixth and final playoff spot in the NFFL standings for now. But YOU DON’T DO THAT and Get in the bathroom are ready to capitalize on any mistakes. Better win out just to be safe.

  1. Sunday Funday (–)
  2. Wetty Squad (–)
  3. Mixon a Water Joe (–)
  4. Brian’s Team (–)
  5. Big Country (–)
  6. Free Kaepernick (–)

Breakout Stars

Alvin Kamara (22.60 points)- Sean Payton knew what he was doing when he shipped Adrian Peterson off to Arizona. Rookie running back Alvin Kamara has been 1/3 of the three-headed dragon spear-heading the elite New Orleans Saints offense. Used alongside Saints veteran Mark Ingram in a 1a-1b share, the running back duo has been the feature story in nearly every game in the Saints’ 8-game win streak. Kamara has the versatility in the passing game as a receiver that Drew Brees needed to compliment Ingram’s power-back running style. Look for Kamara to enjoy a long tenure as the Saints feature back for years to come.

LA Chargers DEF (25.00 points)- Okay, so maybe the numbers are a bit stretched thanks to their five INTs, one fumble recovery, and two TDs. Regardless, the Chargers defense has proven itself to be a formidable unit against less-than-elite NFL QBs. Fantasy-wise, you could do a lot worse than sliding the Chargers into your D/ST slot every week. The stellar play of second-year star Joey Bosa has bolstered their front seven and the secondary is nothing to laugh at either. The Philip Rivers-led offense needs a serious revamp, but the defense is one of the main reasons this 4-6 team is still in the running for 1st place in the AFC West.


Raiders DEF (0.00 points)- The Oakland Raiders went into this season with a plethora of hype surrounding the team on all fronts. With Derek Carr back in full form and some improvements made to the O-line, the Raiders were looking to be one of the scariest offenses in the league. Well, that last part is true to a certain extent. Raiders fans should be scared about their chances heading into the final stretch before the postseason. With the offense not connecting like it was in 2016, the overrated defense led by the superb Khalil Mack has been torn apart by offenses far worse than Brady and co. (like the Chargers, Ravens, and Bills). Also, it was reported earlier this week that Raiders defensive coordinator Ken Norton was fired after the team’s embarrassing 33-8 thrashing from Tom Brady and the Patriots in Mexico City.

Blaine Gabbert (21.58 points)- The fantasy production in Gabbert’s first NFL start this season is misleading on a couple different levels. First, the Arizona Cardinals lost the game 21-31 against a Houston Texans offense led by the laughably bad Tom Savage. Gabbert threw 3 TDs but also two interceptions. He’s seen as a mild upgrade over the ridiculously mediocre Drew Stanton but that isn’t saying much as the Cardinals watch their playoff hopes slowly drift away.

Key Injuries

Chris Thompson (Redskins)- Thompson was in tears as he was carted off the field surrounded by his Redskins’ teammates. Watching the injury live, it was easy to tell that Thompson was going to miss some serious time. In an update by head coach Jay Gruden, it was announced that Thompson had broken his fibula and would have season-ending surgery to repair it.

Jake Elliott (Eagles)- Elliott left Sunday’s game against the Cowboys late in the 1st half. He did not return as he was ruled out with a head injury and immediately entered NFL’s concussion protocol. Elliott was limited in practice this week, but his participation is encouraging and supposedly he is looking good and should hopefully be back on the field by this Sunday.

Matchup of the Week: Jimmy is My Homie G (112.84 vs. 123.32) Get in the bathroom

Wow, two weeks in a row Adam? There is a good reason for it and that is because Get in the bathroom has been on FIRE in an intense push to break into the playoff picture. The win over my #1 ranked fantasy team brings Adam into 8th place with a 5-6 record. Right above him in the standings is YOU DON’T DO THAT (#7) and Wreck League (#6) both at 6-5.

Out of these three teams, Get in the bathroom is just 6.82 total fantasy points behind Jesse’s 997.88 score. So, let’s break down what it will take for Adam to secure the sixth and final spot for the Week 14 playoffs:

  • Get in the bathroom will need to win out these last two weeks against the #10 Sunday Funday and the #6 Wreck League in Week 13.


  • Free Kaepernick and Deez Nuts will also need to help Get in the bathroom with one of their teams beating YOU DON’T DO THAT in order to tie up the records across the board.


  • If Wreck League wins his matchup against Brian’s Team this week, then the only way that Adam could secure that last playoff spot (assuming he wins out) would be to secure the highest point total above Jesse and Mike’s teams with all three of them ending the regular season at 7-6.


What a rush. This is getting down to the wire folks! Stay tuned.

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